Forgiveness: How to get there

As we learn about ourselves and learn about others, we notice the changes in our mind and in our bodies. Things don’t stay the same; eating habits, sleep patterns, social involvement, environment, and everything in life as we see it. It all changes. The way we felt about someone 5 years ago probably changed and we no longer feel the same way about them. We no longer have that bond and trust as before. These are the many types of changes we will notice. People could have been mean, hurtful, evil, and a lot of other terrible things to us. At that time, we hated them and disliked them, but as we matured and grown, we either feel the same way or we forgave them.

As a kid and through my teen years, I was bullied and picked on for almost anything. I would just stay still and someone would find a reason to pick on me. I did something as simple as talk to someone, they would pick on me. I wasn’t able to do anything, because people always wanted to prove they were bigger and stronger. I would go home and cry and get mad, because, I didn’t know what to do. My mother would calm me and down and tell me, that I am the stronger person for not hurting them and they are just making me stronger by picking on me. I never understood my mother when she said that they were making me stronger. I always felt weak and useless, because there was nothing I could do but let them bully me. I would ask them why and they would never give me a reason and just continue to hurt me and call me names. Finally one day I wasn’t able to take it anymore and snapped. I was really angry and grabbed one of the bullies and threw them. I didn’t hurt them, but they got to witness how strong I can be and that they’ve made me reach the limit. After that incident, I was suspended from school for a week and my mom went to explain the situation and what’s been going on for some time now. After that moment, I had no more bullies. No one ever picked on me. I was left alone and was able to finally make friends and enjoy my time in school and anywhere else.

I never believed my mother when she said I was becoming stronger. I do now. I was not getting stronger physically, but emotional and mentally. My bullies and tormentors given me the power to forgive and become stronger and a bigger heart. I thank them for making me a stronger person and forgive them for all the hurt they’ve caused me. I forgive them for calling me down and belittling me. I forgive them for everything. Because, without them, I wouldn’t be able to forgive as I do today.

We take all the hurt that’s been given to us and let it out and not with anger nor sadness, but with happiness, we are happy that we are stronger, we are happy that we are alive, we are happy to have friends, we are happy we have family, and we are happy to have found forgiveness. We forgive those that hurt us, because deep down somewhere they are hurting as well. We forgive them because we understand the pain. This is how we learn to forgive the pains inflicted on us whether it be bullies, parents, strangers, nature, brother, sister, it doesn’t matter, we just have to forgive them and let them heal, so we too can heal. Forgiving is strength and strength is needed to heal.

“Just as we forgive those that lie to us, we should forgive those that caused pain to us whether it is inflicted physically or emotionally.”

-EAB